Tuesday, September 27, 2011

If you ever ask me about how I think things would be, I would say that things would be better than how I think they will be.

I need a day of rest. It would be great if I can get it within this week, it would be so great. But it looks like I might have to wait until thanksgiving.

12 hour days are fine, but with my weekends completely gone, it's a wee bit hard to feel energetic. I do feel like I got a good night's sleep last night, despite dreaming about budgets all night long.

blah imma finish this post later...

Edit: *pant pant* i'm so exhausted. i'm getting to a point where i'm getting irritated at the fact that i'm letting myself get this tired and i don't even know why.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

JGL love.

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... he's doing a lot more work now and I'm so happy! His movie hesher didn't get a lot of PR, but it's so good! I can't wait to see 50/50.

dork love. just came home from being lazy with the lover. we ate and slept in, went for a movie.

Friday, September 23, 2011

extraordinarily peculiar.

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... my week has been non stop, back to back to a point where one large coffee was just not enough. finally got a break this morning, and i chose to go thrifting.

i found an amazing crush velvet purple high waisted skirt. i came in my pants (or skirt) when it fit my perfectly. did i say that it's floor length? right. amazing. found 2 fitted blazers (i'm talking about the non boxy kind, that you're prone to find while thrifting or vintage shopping), a beige skirt and nude patent sling backs all for under $20. i'm beginning to think that i should start documenting these finds, but it always comes back to not having a camera slave to take my pictures.

heading out soon for a meeting, then tutoring, then the lover. it is brutal outside. Rain+wind=disaster.

i'll saturday off with the lover, but after that, it's back on the grind for at least the next 2 weeks.

last night, I had the worst sushi ever and then the lover and I started blurting out phrases that were dangerously committal. that's okay though. i love him.

oh i finally got a good winter coat. it's a puffy soia and kyo jacket with flared sleeves. i love it! :D

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Happy Endings - Margaret Atwood

John and Mary meet.
What happens next?
If you want a happy ending, try A.
A.

John and Mary fall in love and get married. They both have worthwhile and remunerative jobs which they find stimulating and challenging. They buy a charming house. Real estate values go up. Eventually, when they can afford live-in help, they have two children, to whom they are devoted. The children turn out well. John and Mary have a stimulating and challenging sex life and worthwhile friends. They go on fun vacations together. They retire. They both have hobbies which they find stimulating and challenging. Eventually they die. This is the end of the story.

B.

Mary falls in love with John but John doesn't fall in love with Mary. He merely uses her body for selfish pleasure and ego gratification of a tepid kind. He comes to her apartment twice a week and she cooks him dinner, you'll notice that he doesn't even consider her worth the price of a dinner out, and after he's eaten dinner he fucks her and after that he falls asleep, while she does the dishes so he won't think she's untidy, having all those dirty dishes lying around, and puts on fresh lipstick so she'll look good when he wakes up, but when he wakes up he doesn't even notice, he puts on his socks and his shorts and his pants and his shirt and his tie and his shoes, the reverse order from the one in which he took them off. He doesn't take off Mary's clothes, she takes them off herself, she acts as if she's dying for it every time, not because she likes sex exactly, she doesn't, but she wants John to think she does because if they do it often enough surely he'll get used to her, he'll come to depend on her and they will get married, but John goes out the door with hardly so much as a good-night and three days later he turns up at six o'clock and they do the whole thing over again.

Mary gets run-down. Crying is bad for your face, everyone knows that and so does Mary but she can't stop. People at work notice. Her friends tell her John is a rat, a pig, a dog, he isn't good enough for her, but she can't believe it. Inside John, she thinks, is another John, who is much nicer. This other John will emerge like a butterfly from a cocoon, a Jack from a box, a pit from a prune, if the first John is only squeezed enough.

One evening John complains about the food. He has never complained about her food before. Mary is hurt.

Her friends tell her they've seen him in a restaurant with another woman, whose name is Madge. It's not even Madge that finally gets to Mary: it's the restaurant. John has never taken Mary to a restaurant. Mary collects all the sleeping pills and aspirins she can find, and takes them and a half a bottle of sherry. You can see what kind of a woman she is by the fact that it's not even whiskey. She leaves a note for John. She hopes he'll discover her and get her to the hospital in time and repent and then they can get married, but this fails to happen and she dies.

John marries Madge and everything continues as in A.

C.

John, who is an older man, falls in love with Mary, and Mary, who is only twenty-two, feels sorry for him because he's worried about his hair falling out. She sleeps with him even though she's not in love with him. She met him at work. She's in love with someone called James, who is twenty-two also and not yet ready to settle down.

John on the contrary settled down long ago: this is what is bothering him. John has a steady, respectable job and is getting ahead in his field, but Mary isn't impressed by him, she's impressed by James, who has a motorcycle and a fabulous record collection. But James is often away on his motorcycle, being free. Freedom isn't the same for girls, so in the meantime Mary spends Thursday evenings with John. Thursdays are the only days John can get away.

John is married to a woman called Madge and they have two children, a charming house which they bought just before the real estate values went up, and hobbies which they find stimulating and challenging, when they have the time. John tells Mary how important she is to him, but of course he can't leave his wife because a commitment is a commitment. He goes on about this more than is necessary and Mary finds it boring, but older men can keep it up longer so on the whole she has a fairly good time.

One day James breezes in on his motorcycle with some top-grade California hybrid and James and Mary get higher than you'd believe possible and they climb into bed. Everything becomes very underwater, but along comes John, who has a key to Mary's apartment. He finds them stoned and entwined. He's hardly in any position to be jealous, considering Madge, but nevertheless he's overcome with despair. Finally he's middle-aged, in two years he'll be as bald as an egg and he can't stand it. He purchases a handgun, saying he needs it for target practice--this is the thin part of the plot, but it can be dealt with later--and shoots the two of them and himself.

Madge, after a suitable period of mourning, marries an understanding man called Fred and everything continues as in A, but under different names.

D.

Fred and Madge have no problems. They get along exceptionally well and are good at working out any little difficulties that may arise. But their charming house is by the seashore and one day a giant tidal wave approaches. Real estate values go down. The rest of the story is about what caused the tidal wave and how they escape from it. They do, though thousands drown, but Fred and Madge are virtuous and grateful, and continue as in A.

E.

Yes, but Fred has a bad heart. The rest of the story is about how kind and understanding they both are until Fred dies. Then Madge devotes herself to charity work until the end of A. If you like, it can be "Madge," "cancer," "guilty and confused," and "bird watching."

F.

If you think this is all too bourgeois, make John a revolutionary and Mary a counterespionage agent and see how far that gets you. Remember, this is Canada. You'll still end up with A, though in between you may get a lustful brawling saga of passionate involvement, a chronicle of our times, sort of.

You'll have to face it, the endings are the same however you slice it. Don't be deluded by any other endings, they're all fake, either deliberately fake, with malicious intent to deceive, or just motivated by excessive optimism if not by downright sentimentality.

The only authentic ending is the one provided here:
John and Mary die. John and Mary die. John and Mary die.

So much for endings. Beginnings are always more fun. True connoisseurs, however, are known to favor the stretch in between, since it's the hardest to do anything with.

That's about all that can be said for plots, which anyway are just one thing after another, a what and a what and a what.

Now try How and Why.

Friday, September 16, 2011

to do lists left undone

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... sort of a day off today, since my weekends will be full for the next month or so with volunteering training, both giving and receiving.

I'm looking forward to getting involved with the TRCC.

time with the lover will be scarce but he shall be attending the sec training with me :) yay. and we're having a snuggles night later on today.

so many things to do, i keep making lists... but it's difficult to keep track.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

"It is a risk to love. What if it doesn't work out? Ah, but what if it does." -Peter McWilliams

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... many might differ on their opinions but I will attest that our sex is better than your sex.

i received a letter in the mail from Ingrid today!!! oh. em. gee. i'm so happy!!!

I just finished writing her a letter back and i'll be mailing it to her tomorrow!! I hope it gets to her quicker than hers did... it must've gotten lost or something on the way because she sent it in july!! anywho, i'm so happy to receive mail :D

the weekend was great! we went to the casino for literally 10 minutes and won $19! we saw the falls, had a bubble bath in our tub, ate at the brazilian steakhouse and had fun!! mmmm... grilled pineapples. yum.

anywho, finally back home now and i'm sleepy but have few more things to do before bed.

this month is flying by.

Friday, September 9, 2011

sniffles

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... i've been sick for the last two days. booooo.

at the busiest of times, your body decides to go on strike.

the lover's birthday festivities went well :) he was a happy puppy.

tomorrow is training for the trcc, and then our mini trip on Sunday!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

la petite mort

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... i will love you until your death.

you're magic and so am i, so together we are...

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... awesome.

rain rain go away for god's bloody sake. you have already ruined my run around in the sun with animals plans for the weekend.

instead me and the lover are squished together under my tiny umbrella. wait, i guess it's not too bad.

busy week ahead, but after that, adventure to the niagara falls!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

No, I won't let you sleep in.

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... so here I am. awake. so i woke the lover up too.

i'm getting bored of the whole roll around in the bed routine that we've ONLY been doing lately.

oh great, my eye is twitching, wtf.

apparently it's supposed to rain the whole weekend, but it's sunny out right now.

it was nice catching up with melyssa last night... it's too bad these guys make her go through drama :( she deserves better.

tutoring is starting up again. this kid and her mother are making me work too hard for this. *sigh* what happened to making life simple?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

See? What did I tell you?

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... every single picture of hers annoyingly looks like an editorial and so perfect. gotta love it.

i wish i had a camera slave who would take fantastic pics of me 24/7, then I would also have a fashion blog full of me, my face and my clothes. oh the dream.

anywho, just chilling at zee office of the volunteering, working on my things. the lover had to work late now, and i'm bummed.

i guess i'll go home and work out. boooooo.

why am i always the last to know about long weekends? hmmmmm, what to do?

early meeting tomorrow and the rest of the day will entail lots of online searching and things.